It has been very hard to get to a computer lately. First edmodo wouldn't let me on, then the school computers crashed, and now it's prom time and I have no working hours left! This is madness. I got the cover page done and the packet just needs the presentation outline..... which would be easier if I had a fnished presentation. I really need to find a day to do this. I'm about halfway through and it's getting harder to organize it all. But i'm sre it'll be fine. If I have the two weeks in june that I thought I did, i'll be perfect. I just want this to come out right. It would be a shame to miscommunicate how much I care about this subject just because I'm bad at presenting.

I wrote a whole post last friday and forgot to post it. Lately I haven't had anything to write about because it's all been organization and media searches.  I have 5 slides done. I need to make an outline for the rest of it. So how about this:

What is this project trying to do?

Why did I take this class?

What is neurology?

Research info

Roadblocks

Where this will take me in the future/ how it changed my life

I'm getting the main questions together with all of their sub questions. Next I'm going to transcribe my interviews and organize the data into each category. While I'm doing that, I'll get some media files for the presentation. I printed out an outline to work from. Still working on the video. I haven't had time to finish it but I have a few weeks. It won't take long, just needs music. The files are there, I just need to pick one or two and mix them in neatly. This weekend will end with an organized set of data and I should be ready to begin the powerpoint by Tuesday.

All my research is done! I scrambled Monday night to finish it and now I'm going to organize everything. I can only do it in school for now because its all on my school file. I'll have to transfer it through edmodo. I messed with the audio levels on my video today and now I'm going to find some media for the presentation. I think I'm finally on track.

Ok change of plans. It turns out I'm farther behind than I anticipated. This presentation has to be done by the 29th of May. That's less than 3 weeks away. So this interview and the final research have to be done by the end of next week. I need about 10 sources on that question. I'll have to research this weekend and do the interview wednesday. Oh man.

I need to write more blogs. I know. It's been so hard to focus lately and I'm intimidated by the workload I have left. But I got the questions together and now I'm going to find some time for that interview. I'll call the doctor later today. From there, I'll either set up an interview or email him the questions. Today I'll finish the video (I forgot to add music) and tomorrow i'll reserach the last question. I plan on being done by June 1st and the 2 weeks after that will be for organizing the presentation.

So I planned on finishing the video today but I left my flash key at home and it had all of my music on it. The video is done besides that though. I might add some fades to make it prettier but for now I'm set on getting that final interview. Heres the plan:

1) find people
2) make questions up
3) research a bit on the last question
4) get all the interviews done
5) transcribe EVERYTHING I have ever done because I still haven't done that...

Working on number one today.

Quick note: The AP tests are happening in SEVEN DAYS. After years of nightmares involving those words, they are back to haunt my dreams for entirely different reasons. I want to be productive this week to make up for lost time, so I'll do what I can in class and during lunch. But as soon as I get home SRS stops. I doubt either event will end well but I will do all that I can. I'll probably be interviewing for the 3rd question during my 4th question research. Let's hope for the best.

So it's been a while, internet..... This is what's up: Senior trip lasted 4 days. Wednesday I had a half day. Thursday I was sick and didn't come in. Friday I worked on the survey video. I've been in a series of unproductive environments which have caused me to do just about nothing this week. But not all is lost. The time I've had has been very productive and the video should be done very soon. It won't just be a little thing either. Well, it will be, but it will be a very nicely edited little thing. Once that's done I need to start thinking about how I'm going to tie this thing up. I still want an interview for this question but I need to be careful about how I spend my time. Theres still an entire research question I haven't answered and I need some time to actually construct my presentation. I wish I knew when it needed to be done (early june, late june, late may?). I'm not too worried about the last question because worst case scenario, it will be a wrap up question and I can say something about an uncertain future full of possibility blah blah blah.... But I know I'll work faster during this section of the project because I'm really interested in it. It's mostly internet research, but maybe I'll email some doctors about what they think is coming and all that. It's the actual presentation I'm worried about. I don't know how I can make it entertaining. The way I could build it right now would be kind of monotonous and procedural. I need something to make it kick. Maybe I could get someone to come in and speak!!! That is a great idea. Good job, Hayley. I tend to write as I think. If you can get past the clutter it becomes a good way to get ideas down. What else.....I think that's it. Cool. Goodnight internet.

I have the interviews cut up and now I just have to arrange them into something neater. Then I'll make the graphics and I should be done by the end of next week, since I'll be on the trip. This next week should be pretty quiet. Not much to report on. But I like it better this way. I have a clear goal and straight forward material to work with. I haven't had much of that in the course of this project; it's a lot of thinking and planning and waiting. I welcome the change of pace.

I got a lot of good interviews today. I can't even remember how many. I'm going to compile them into a commercial-like opinion poll with some nice background music and graphics. I wonder if copyright applies here. I should run that by Shtino. Tomorrow, second period, i'm going to get one more from Mr. Wigley. I'll be editing it during 9th this week and I should be done by Friday.

I'm trying to decide how useful a survey would be in determining the country's opinion on doctors. Ram said that interviews might be more informative. Now that I think about it, I would only be surveying teenagers anyway. We usually don't have much experience with doctors. I have no idea where I'll find the time to do this, but I guess I'll make a video compilation of interviews with adults and teenagers reacting to these questions:

1) What comes to mind when you hear the word "doctor"?
2) Do you like going to the doctor's office? Why or why not?
3) What have your experiences with doctors been like?
4) What do you think the average doctor is like as a person?

The point of this is to discover the most common doctor stereotypes and the ways in which people will perceive me as an adult. I think that it will benefit me to know these things because I will be more sensitive to my patient's perspective, allowing me to communicate more effectively.

I finally remembered what that video was!
Skip to 8:35!!!

I've organized the topic into these main questions:

1)      What is expected of a doctor regarding patient care?

2)      How does American society view doctors and surgeons?

-          How has this view changed in the last 50 years?

3)      How do doctors view patients?

4)      What needs to be done to satisfy the needs of both parties?

What I have done so far tells me that the bulk of the problem is in the doctor-patient relationship. Communication is failing in both the basic sense and in that each is unaware of the other's expectations for them. Patients are left feeling unheard and doctors are trying harder to be careful than to acurately treat their illnesses. Legislation in recent years has made it harder for residents to work effectively because of the shortened shift hours. They are given less time to do the same amount of work, leading to reduced follow-up care and attention to detail. I can't find much written about american society and our doctors, so I'm going to watch some TED talks and see what I can take from them. After that, and a bit more solid research, I'll make up the survey.

http://www.freelancestar.com/2013-03-25/articles/3989/unrealistic-expectations-can-complicate-doctorpatient-relationship/

The beginning of my research on this question. As soon as I get this settled, I'll be able to find an interview. I may not have done as much as I hoped during the break, but I'm definitely at a good place in the long run. I still have about two months left, but I don't have a huge amount to do after this. I think I finally have all of this worked out. I should have enough by Tuesday to start making calls.

Funny story.... all that stuff I said in the last blog about how I'm going to present the information.... I didn't write it down. So I have no idea what I was talking about. But I won't be making that mistake again! What follows is a small list of ideas that may or may not make sense. Its for my own benefit so I don't lose the notes.

Brain Surgeon iphone game (me playing: possible anecdote for intro)
Quotes from past interviews (the nurse said something about working less hours and lack of training)
Survey and payment fluctuations
People googling their ailments: doctor's pov, not as much trust as before
Something with scrubs or house

Over the break, I plan to research the question of how well our doctors are meeting the public's expectations. I have a pretty good idea of how to present this at the end. I'm going to make a survey that I'll pass out when we get back and gather a few video clips to make the presentation nicer. It's going to suck to have to blog all of it though. It's ridiculous that these breaks are intended to give students a chance to relax, and yet teachers give us more work than usual during them. No wonder why kids today are so stressed out and overly medicated. I understand not wasting the time for interviews in this particular class, but anything else is uncalled for. Okay, I'm done ranting. Here's a funny video I'm going to use in my presentation:

Coming Soon...

I've got a lot of research now on women in neurology, so I want to interview a male physician and get the other point of view. I have someone lined up, but before I contact him I want to have a substantial amount of things to talk about. The next step will be researching the question about medical profficiency. Once I have most of that covered, I'll set up a meeting to talk about both questions. I think I'm going to make another survey. This time it will actually serve a purpose, at least.

I was watching tv last night and found a show called "Married to Medicine". I was actually really excited because I thought it was going to be about strong, independent women doctors. The description said something about balancing home life with the hectic work schedule. I thought, "Yes. This is exactly what young girls need to see on tv. Something to aspire to." But I was so, so wrong. Instead, the first thing I see is a loud, obnoxious rich woman yelling at a group of other rich women. She was saying that she didn't want to "start any drama" and that everyone was trying to exclude her from some party. She wasn't a doctor; she was an unemployed, pampered doctor's wife. Her whole goal in life was to find a rich man to take care of her and buy her nice things. It was disgusting. And we wonder why there aren't more young women coming into the field of medicine. It's because they are told by the media to be housewives instead of proffesionals. It really pisses me off.

I've been trying to find conferences about women in medicine. A lot of medical colleges hold them, but they've passed by now. There was even one on Friday that I just missed! I'm going to have to watch them on youtube instead, but I can't do that in school. After that... I don't know. Interviews, I guess. I'm a bit stuck right now. I want to get a detailed picture of this issue, but I don't know what else I can do. I'm going to see where the videos lead me.

Mr. Shtino lent me a scifi book last week and I read one story about a neuroscientist. It's called "Flowers for Algernon." In the story, a mentally handicapped man in his late 30's is chosen for a medical experiment that triples his inteligence. It is implied that some type of brain surgery is preformed, but they don't go into details. As his IQ rises, he learns that his friends have been abusing him and he was treated like a worthless fool. He eventually becomes more intelligent than the doctors that preformed the study. He realizes that the effects are only temporary and is terrified of returning to his previous state. When he does, it devastates him. This is an important concept to keep in mind when discussing neurological testing because doctors don't always understand the impact of their work. When I start to research the future of neurology, I should try to think of the unanticipated consequences that will result from each technology.

I went to the doctor's office the other day and got a quote from a female physician. Besides that, I've been researching more for the women in neuroscience question and I think I'm set for now. My next task is to get some interviews to back it up. The problem is that I don't want to conduct an entire interview for only one set of questions. I'm going to have to make up a bunch of sub-questions that a person could answer in case their first response is, "No, I don't see too much discrimination in the workplace." That will happen this weekend hopefully. I"ll probably start it on Monday, though, because I'll be doing an english essay all weekend. Thanks a lot Shtino :P

So I met with Mrs. Repasy and we worked out how I'm tying the research questions into a presentation. To clarify, question #1 is going to introduce the topic of Neurology and set the stage for later discussions. Questions #2 and 3 will give people and idea about the field of Neurology today. The last question will apply Neuroscience to people everywhere and show them what to expect in the future..... you know what I just noticed? No matter how many times I do it, I always forget that Neurology and Neuroscience shouldn't be capitalized. It's like a freudian slip or something.

The first new line of research i'm going into is about women in neuroscience. All the people I've talked to said that it was a big part of the career that I need to consider. I 've spent the last two days researching it and believe that it is something worth addressing in my presentation. Neurologists seem to be pretty diverse gender wise, but there is a strong male majority in surgery. One of my interviewees described it as, "a boys club," a phrase that is continuing to pop up in my studies. It seems that women are even being discouraged to go into surgery by their medical school counsilors! “Women are dissuaded from the field being told that they won’t make as good a surgeon as a man." Part of me wants to work harder at it in an attempt to make these (expletive)'s think twice, but I don't know if I can keep calm in this kind of environment. I couldn't sit there and take that.

I saw this a while ago and thought it was funny. I never actually posted it, though, so here it is:

The reason I changed my old research questions is that I started getting really bored with the project. I felt like I was answering the same questions over again and that the level of detail would break people's interest. These are the questions I really want answered now that i've gone deeper into the subject. I think that no matter how interested you are in medicine, things that cause controversy get attention. Everyone will want to put their words into the mix. If I'm going to be going into this field, I also think that I should be prepared to deal with things like sexism. I don't want to get caught up in the job and lose sight of how I'm coming off to my patients, either. The other two questions are about introducing the topic and getting people to see how the future will be changed by Neuroscience. I'm going to take the information I have about the two jobs and move onto the other questions for now. I've got to put in the time to figure out how to get that done. It might be hard to find interviewees who will talk openly about these things. I guess this is where the internet research begins.

Okay, I've got my research questions down. No promises, but I think these are going to be it.

1) What are the differences between jobs in neurosurgery and neurology?
2) Are modern medical proffessionals meeting the expectations the public has of them?
3) What is it like for women in neurology?
4) Where is neruoscience headed in the future?

I would write more but I have to go see what this Harlem Shake business is about. Something's going down.

1) What is your job like day to day?
2) How does a hospital run?
3) What kind of procedures are done?
4) What is the basic format of a surgery?
5) What kind of person do you have to be/ what skills do you need to be a surgeon?
6)  What kinds of opportunites are you given because of your job?
7) What kind of salary can you expect as you rise in the ranks?
8) How do you deal with job related stress? 
9) Is the pressure worth it?
10) Does it get easier? At what point do you get used to it?

These were my original interview questions for neurosurgeons. Now I need to adapt them for the neurologist. I think I'm going to make the project about both jobs. I can definitely use some of these today, and when I get more surgeons to interview I can compare the answers. So for the neurologits...

1) What is your job like day to day?
                - Where do you work now?
                - What kind of patients do you see?
                - What are your responsibilities?
                - How do you treat an illness? What power do you have to do so?
                - How stressful is it? Comparatively? 
2) What qualities/skills are needed to be a neurologist?
3) What kind of opportunities are you given because of your job? 
4) What kind of salary can you expect as you rise in the ranks?
5) What do you enjoy most about your job?

I only have thirty minutes with her, so I hope I can get some thorough answers for some of these, at least. I really have to be on my game today. Update post coming soon.

I finally figured out why I was having so much trouble finalizing my topic. I always thought that in neuroscience, I had to choose between surgery and research. I completely forgot about Neurologists. Looking back on my early posts, I noticed that I never even mentioned a diagnostic branch. I realize that going into this project, I didn't have as clear an idea about what Neurology was as I thought. If my recent blogs have been a bit confusing, it's because I forgot that research was a totally different thing which I haven't even been looking into; in mixing up the two, I was under the impression that I'd moved the project away from diagnostics. I know that I really shouldn't be changing the project this late, but to avoid further confusion, I'm just going to title it Neurology. I feel like the project has taken on a life of its own. I can't even control where it's going anymore. I don't think it would be practical to decide on what it's going to be just yet, so I'm going to gather information on everything and see where that leads me. So far it's taken me to Starbucks, so that must be a good omen.

Despite forgetting to blog it, I actually did do that research. I found a good foundation for neurology questions. One of the pages I found detailed the specific differences between neurologists and neurosurgeons. Luckily, the questions i have or the surgeons don't need to be adapted too much. I got the specifics down for the meeting tomorrow. Starbucks, 3:00-3:30. I'm a little worried that I won't be able to get enough in that time. My last interview took two hours. I'm going to have to spend the whole morning shaping the directions I need the questions to lead me in. I'd do it now, but I'm at a baby shower. I imagined it would be more fun; I've been sitting here for two hours listening to my mom's friends talk about diaper cakes. If you don't know what that is, I advise you to never find out.

The neurologist said that she would be in touch sometime later in the week. I'm pretty sure we're set for Sunday. I've been so stressed out lately it's hard to focus on the research. I took on too much at once and now i'm juggling three video contracts, this project, and a multicultural day booth. No matter how hard I try I can't do it all myself. I figured that anyone I asked for help would make up an excuse to get out of the work, but the reality is even more frustrating. These kids I'm working with say they'll get things done and then just don't do it! They have no sense of responsibility. I feel like I'm the only teenager on the planet who cares about keeping a promise. If things were different, I would have spent last night doing research for the interview. Now I guess I'll have to do it tonight.

So the interview went well. I ended up staying for two hours and getting an hour of recording material. But the most important thing that happened was this: I learned that being a neurosurgeon is not what I thought it was. Apparently, everything I love about neuro isn't as involved in neurosurgery, but in neurology. I know Mrs. Repasy is going to love this new development. I'm sorry! I changed the project from Neurology to surgery just to find this out. But this is going to be great for my presentation. The project is about self discovery and changing our opinions. I don't want to change the project again. I dedicated my research to neurosurgeons and I'm going to continue on that path. So now, it's going to be less about job preparation and more about getting the information I need to solidify my decision to branch out. On the other hand, I really am interested in what a neurosurgeon's life is like. I think now that my personal line of questioning is out of the way, I can be objective in my research and get a clearer final product. I would like a second opinion on which field is better, too. She gave me the contact info for the new head of neurology at Capital Health where my mom works and my dad used to work. I talked to her and set up an interview for next Sunday! Already, doors are opening for me. After that, she has some neuro-nurses she'll talk to for me. She's been very helpful. Research online starts this week.

I'm in Marlton right now getting set up for my first interview (finally)! It's with my dad's old work friend. She's a nurse practitioner with previous experience under neurosugeons and so far I think this is going to go well. She seems really nice and not too intimidating. I think in this project I'll get more out of the nurses than the actual surgeons. I have a feeling that they'll be more open with their information. I hope this won't be awkward. Wish me luck! I'll write a post-game update when I get back.

I know this isn't how I'm supposed to do this, but I find it more beneficial to post every three days or so.  I don't have an issue with writing three posts in a day to make it up; that reflects the pace at which things are moving on this project. I have trouble getting people to accomplish anything until I push long enough that they get sick of it. So when I make ground, it happens sporadically and I get a lot at once. Unless you want to hear me rant about the same things between these breakthroughs, I suggest this instead. If everything goes as planned, these next seven days will be the most productive so far. The HESPA schedule will give me some extra time, at least.

I made up a survey to judge how people view neurosurgeons. I'm going to distribute it to a class of high school kids and a few teachers. I want to see if the opinions change with age and experience. The website I made it on is making me pay to print it, though. I have to reformat it so I can bypass the charge. I'll have the file sent out to Mrs. Repasy by tonight. As for the teachers, I think I can get copies out to the ones I see daily.
But this interview.... I am so frustrated with the whole thing. I have someone lined up, she's happy to meet with me, she has all of these contacts in the field, but my parents are ruining all of it. My dad forgot that he was working on the day we'd scheduled two weeks in advance and now whenever I ask him to call her he tells me he doesn't feel like it. Only he has her number, and even if I called her myself I'd need him to drive me there, which he also rarely wants to do. She was supposed to be the gateway to the other interviews. I realized that I may have to go another way, so I tried to find another lead. But my mom keeps saying that no surgeons will have time to be interviewed. Valid point, but maybe try asking first? It's not like they're strangers.
I'm going to check the library for information tomorrow. Next week will be dedicated to internet research.

I've been trying to set up this interview with the neuro-assistant and my parents keep putting it off. It's really annoying. The worst part about being this age is that no one takes you seriously. I'm trying to do something important! For me at least... I really care about this stuff. I don't know why; I know it's kind of a specific thing to want, having had no real experience with it. But it just makes sense to me, you know? The first time I saw those diagrams of the brain with all of it's neurons and electrical sparks jumping like lightening... it reminded me of those beautiful pictures of dust clouds in space with all the colors and lights. I always liked space. The brain is just like the universe if you shrink down small enough. If the idea of giant swirling cosmos is exciting, how can you not think the same of a vast unexplored world thats so small, you can't even see it well enough to understand how it works. Can you imagine yourself- not your body, but your consciousness itself- and imagine what little bits of your brain give you the ability to think and feel and dream? We know what lets us think, but where in our head is the part that makes people cry at weddings and climb mountains just for the view at the top? This tiny plane of existence holds everything that makes us human, and we still don't know how to find it. This may be the only real magic left in the world. A part of me hopes it stays hidden, just so we always have something to wonder about. I know this class is supposed to be about our personal journey in exploring what we are passionate about, so I hope this was relevant. To be honest, I tend to trail off when I think about this stuff. I guess that's good, though, because it means I'm on the right path. I'll keep trying to set this thing up, but I hope I can do it soon. I'm getting kind of anxious not having anything done.

In the book "The Last Lecture," the author adresses how to deal with brick walls. I know that in my project, I'll have to juggle a lot of legal issues and the stress that comes with that. I don't have a general reaction to setbacks that I can identify. I think it's like what the book says, "The brick walls are there to stop the people that don't want it badly enough." I can always tell how much I care about something by how fast I quit it. I'll give up after fifteen minutes on a hard math problem, but I'll spend hours tweaking a messed up garageband project. If I don't like something but I know I have to do it, I get really frustrated wasting my time. But I know this is something I will be able to use to achieve my goals and do what I love. I don't think I'll give up on this or get angry often because when it matters to me, I know that overeacting is a waste of energy. I'd rather spend that time trying to solve the problem. Every once in a while, though, I get to the point where I can't quit. It doesn't even matter what i'm working toward; quitting would mean admitting that I can't do it. And there's no way some dumb machine, person, cosmic force or whatever else is going to make a fool out of me. So when I show up to school with my homework half done, it's probably becuase my computer wouldn't let me run something and I had to spend six hours hacking it from internet tutorial videos.

I'm going to be interviewing some neurosurgeons my mom knows from work. I don't know yet how many will agree to do it so I have to find some info on my own. I might branch out and interview general surgeons because of the limited supply of people I can find. I think there are three main surgeons I could talk to: Leibman, Vez, and a woman I can't recall the name of. I could probably find more people through them. Here are ten questions I plan on asking them:

1) What is your job like day to day?
2) How does a hospital run?
3) What kind of procedures are done?
4) What is the basic format of a surgery?
5) What kind of person do you have to be/ what skills do you need to be a surgeon?
6)  What kinds of opportunites are you given because of your job?
7) What kind of salary can you expect as you rise in the ranks?
8) How do you deal with job related stress?
9) Is the pressure worth it?
10) Does it get easier? At what point do you get used to it?

Now that I have my research questions set up, I need to figure out how to get them answered. Here's the plan:

1) What is neurosurgery like day-to-day?
                 a)  Interview Neurosurgeons
                 b) Shadow a Neurosurgeon
                 c) Research online
2) What different kinds of procedures are done?
                 a) Interview a Neurosurgeon
                 b) Observe a surgery
                 c) Interview a hospital directer
                 d) Research online
3) How does neurosurgery positively impact a surgeon's life?
                 a) Interview a Neurosurgeon
                 b) Interview a Med school professor/directer/counsilor
                 c) Research online
4) What kind of stress do they face on the job and off?
                 a) Interview a Neurosurgeon
                 b) Interview someone with a Neurosurgeon in the family
                 c) Shadow a neurosurgeon at work
                 d) Research online

Important news! (Relatively speaking, becuase I am just one person on a computer.)

So after some thought, I've decided to change my project. Instead of being about Neuroscience branches, it'll just be about neurosurgeory. I know almost 100% that I want to do this more than research; I kind of just wanted to say that I was working on a cure for Alzheimers, you know, because its sounds impressive. And it may have something to do with the fact that I'd have to research what "research" is before even researching how it's done. By comparisson, poking around in someone's brain seems simpler. After looking at the research questions I wrote, my review partner said that I didn't need to fix anything. So this'll just be an update post.

It's time to start focusing in on the specifics of this project. As a framework, I've made up some research questions. What I need to answer is this:

1) What is neurosurgery like day-to-day? 

                    - How difficult is it?

                    - How does a hospital run?

2) What different kinds of procedures are done?

                    - What is the basic format for a surgery?

3) How does neurosurgery positively impact a surgeon's life?

                    - $, opportunities, etc...

4) What kind of stress do they face on the job and off?

                    - How do they deal with it? 

                    - Is it worth it?

                    - Does it get easier? 

I'm concerned that I may have trouble getting honest answers in a hospital setting and that some of these questions may be a bit personal, but it's important that I know these things.  I can at least find these things online, if not from personal interviews. There are plenty of forums on the subject; I just need to dig a little.

In other news, I found this in one of my webcomics:

I hope the surgeons I work with have a sense of humor, or else I'm going to make a lot of people nervous...

We've been watching Julie and Julia to model how our blogging experience should be. The blog to her is an incentive to accomplish her goals. She doesn't want to quit because it would look bad to her readers. On top of that, it gets her attention from important people who further her career, as well as add to the content she writes about. I'm still figuring out how to approach this blog. I would like it to be me speaking to an audience of random people, but in reality it's going to be more like a status report for the guys in charge. Maybe i'll just pretend I have a crowd of loyal readers hanging on my every word. That would certainly motivate me more.... maybe I'll even reccommend it to some important neurosurgeons? That would be pretty exciting.

Have you ever been so bored that you start typing sentences into Google to see how it completes them? I don't recommend it to anyone who still believes that humanity is salvageable.  In a fit of uncreative genius, I typed "so..." and was led to this video. It is horribly made and full of unanticipated hilarity.

As stupid and it is, it kind of scared me a little. I never really considered the possibility that I may not get in to Med School. I always assumed that if I worked hard enough, I would be able to do whatever I wanted to. Isn't that what they tell us in first grade? That we can be whoever we want to be as long as we don't give up? I'm starting to realize that wanting something and working at it aren't always enough. If I want to do this, I'm either going to have to be smarter than other people, or be more involved in the community. I guess when the time comes, I'll find out if I have what it takes....for better or worse. 

This second post is supposed to be about the steps taken to get a final project, particularly concerning a powerpoint we saw a week ago (which I can't remember the slightest detail of). That's what I get for being absent. Generally, one would need to set up interviews with teachers and officials to find a core theme. From there, they would find details about their topic on the internet and form a portfolio of documents which apply to the theme. The presentation will not be a research project so much as an account of the journey taken to reach some conclusion. But to progress at all, a lot of planning has to be done. Thankfully, I'm compelled to plan for everything. I'm spending my last year of high school planning the branch I'll go into more than 10 years from now! I have plenty of time to decide, but my brain won't let me relax until I choose, so here I am.... wish me luck.

Up until this point, school has been an adult telling me that I need to know what they have to teach me. That is education. I'm excited to move from my life of being educated to my future, where I will learn on my own terms. In this class, I will be given the long awaited freedom to prepare myself for a career that I chose in Freshman year and that I am very passionate about. The goal is to choose between two options I will have: Neurosurgeory and Research. Researching and writing about the topic will be easy because I am so excited to do it. The issues I may have will concern the presentation and the interviews. I'm not a very pushy person and I find the idea of taking up someone's time who is so important to be a bit selfish.